So, this is part of a story I've been writing in on and off. It's kinda hard to write....maybe cuz of the past of Sky's life. Which I'm not gonna tell u about here. But this is a scence from the book I like, so I'm putting it up here for you to read.....tell me what u think!
Here's a quick back ground of the part ur about to read:
Nicolle met Sky a few days ago at the library, where he volunteers ans Nicolle's mom works. He has just moved to town and she's now at his house, bringing him a pizza.
Suddenly the door swings open and Sky is standing just inches from me. His head is tilted downwards. I think he is looking at me, but I'm not sure. His shaggy bangs cover his eyes, completely.
A small grin appears on his face. "Nicolle, right?"
I nod, wondering how he can see me through that mop of hair. Maybe he can't see me. Maybe he reconizes people by smell. Creepy.
He steps back from the door. "Do you want to come in?"
"Sure." My voice cracks. I suddenly feel really shy. I step into the small trailor, keeping my gaze on Sky's face. Surprised to realize he's not half bad looking.
Sky lets the door shut with a bang. He lifts his hand up and brushes his bangs to the side of his pale face.
I swallow, glimpsing his eyes. They're blue. The brightest blue I have ever seen. He has them outlined in thick black eyeliner, making them huge owl eyes.
He looks at the pizza box, an eyebrow raised. He remains quiet, waiting for me to say something.
I shove the pizza box into his hands. "Here. This is for you."
He raises his eyes from the box to me. "Why?"
"Think of it as a..." I fumbled for the right words. "House warming gift. Since your new here, I guess."
Sky stares at me a few moments. I start to feel uneasy and grab for the door handle, ready to dash out of the room if he tries anything. I look at his face. One of his eyes in still uncovered by hair.
Suddenly he laughs softly. "You bought me a pizza for that?" His bangs fall back over both eyes, hiding that radient blue.
"Well, sure." I blush.
"What kind is it?" He opens the pizza box a crack and peeks inside.
"Pepperoni." I answer.
"Cool." Sky turns his back to me and walks over to a tiny couch in the back of the room, where he sits down, setting the pizza beside him.
He throws the top of the box back and grabs a slice, then extends it to me. "Want one?"
"No thanks."
"You should. You bought it."
"No," I blink. "I bought it for you."
"And I thank you for that." He suddenly stuffs half the piece of pizza into his mouth.
"Why did you move here?" I ask casually, watching Sky chew and swallow before he answers.
"I dunno. My dad lives in Roanoke. I just wanted to get away from everything. The city, ya know?"
I almost laugh. "Roanoke? You want to get out of Roanoke? That's not exactly a big enough city to be considered a...CITY!"
Sky shrugs. "To me it is. I've lived there my whole life."
My eyes study Sky a second. "You don't look like someone who would move to the center of all hillbilly hell." He has his dyed shaggy black hair, his eyeliner, his chains. His full sleeve tattoos, his lip rings.....
Sky shurgs again. "Neither do you."
I don't say anything.
We both are quiet. So quiet, Sky eats three more pieces of pizza before we say anything.
It's me who breaks the silence. "One more thing before I go." I say.
Sky looks over at me, pushing his raven wing colored hair from his eyes. "You changed your mind and want a piece of pizza?"
I shake my head, "I--"
He cuts me off. "You want a goodbye kiss? Well, I'd be happy to give you one." He tosses a slice of pepperoni into his mouth.
That catches me off guard. I stammer, "N-n-no."
Sky doesn't say anything, but sits up, digs something from his pocket, then throws it at me,
I catch it instintivly and look down at my hand. It's a tiny silver foiled wrapped Hershey's Kiss. I look up at Sky. "What's this?"
He grins, kicking his Vans off his feet. "A goodbye Kiss."
"Oh." I take a deep breath, hoping to regain any little self poise I had left. "What I was going to say was, would you like to come to dinner at my house tomorrow? My mom wouldn't mind." I glanced around his house. He had boxes piled high against every wall. "And you don't look un-packed enough to have a real dinner."
Sky pauses. "You still live with your parents? How old are you?" Is there a hint of ice behind his voice?
"Um, 16."
"Oh." His voice is warm again, carefree. "I'm 18. And yes, I'd like that. Dinner I mean. How about if I just follow your mom home from work tomorrow?"
"That'd be fine, but she's not working tomorrow." I licked my lips. "I could just come get you or whatever."
Sky smiles. "That would work too. So you'll pick me up at 5?"
"OK."
"OK, then."
There is a brief pause, before I clear my throat.
"I'll go now. See you tomorrow?"
"I'll be here."
"OK. Bye."
"See ya, Nicolle."
I slip out of the door and shut it behind me.
OK! That's it! Tell me what u think! :D. And tell me what u think of Sky. I LOVE him. But I wanna know what u think!
:D
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It's good, and it IS slightly different from the other one, isn't it? But I actually like the changes you made. :)
ReplyDeleteOh, haha I wrote back on that email u sent before I came to look at this...so never mind what I said in the email. Yeah, thanks! :). I like it too. I makes a bit more sense I think. :D
ReplyDeleteYes.... somehow like less confusion or something. So... :)
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty good, Holly. I noticed in another post that you said you "weren't good at girls" when writing. In this story it seems very important to be "good at girls" because it is from the girl's point of view. You give very unique/precise details...keep it up. :)
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